After a much needed break from the hustle and bustle of the big city (to an even busier city ironically enough), I’m back in London, refreshed and revived.

And during this break, there was a bit of time for some soul searching and self discovery and that other mushy stuff, and I realised that after living in London for just over three years, what an angry and frustrated person I had become due to work; the sheer number of people and the other stresses that come with living in an enormous city. And although I believe that anger and frustration can fuel a passion to do things right, too much of it results in it permeating other aspects of my life. But no more.

While I don’t believe that I’ll ever be a placid person by any stretch of the imagination, getting overly frustrated and agitated because I’m running late by own schedule; worrying about things that are out of my control or even the tiny victories in getting upset at someone because they’ve cut me off in the tube will hopefully be a thing of the past. So my experiment is that every time I feel something boiling up inside, I stop myself and ask myself “WHY?”. If its justified, sure I’ll be annoyed. If not, I’ll build a bridge and get over it. Make no mistake: I’m no door mat, but there’s no point wasting energy in being a martyr either.

After all, there is a lot more to life than what I can see directly in front of me, and from experience, I’m sure as hell it won’t piss me off as much.

Gentlemen, let’s not forget that even during Winter (or especially during that in between period between Winter and Spring) sweating is still very possible. Ergo, to avoid being the l’Odeur du Jour that becomes emblazoned for that day on my nostrils (and many other’s no doubt), deodorant is a must. It would make my morning journey on the train that little bit less unpleasant.

For those few readers who have subscribed to my posts, you may have wondered what I was doing during my brief hiatus.  And between swishing down the ski fields in Switzerland and renewing our visas to remain in London, there’s not been much time to comment on the art of being a gentleman.

However, all that’s about to change - Spring is in the air and the days are getting longer and warmer. So let’s shake off those Winter dregs and get our gentleman on (I realise that that sounded a little weird, but you get where I’m going with it).

There are some things that tell us that it’s Friday.  The indescribable, amazing feeling when we get out of bed that when the day finishes, it will be the longest point between finishing work and not having to work!  And of course, it’s also “Wear whatever you want to work day that’s not a suit day”!  Springing out of bed with that realisation, the wardrobe is flung open and instinctively reach for the pair of torn jeans and a very low cut t-shirt that might have been washed a last week… or was it last month… actually, the stain down the friend suggests that it might have never been washed in the 2 years it’s been owned.  

There’s plenty wrong with that last scenario, given that when most places say “Casual Friday”, there’s actually quite a few conditions that go with it that make it more “Casual Friday with a Few Guidelines that You’ll Find Under the Corporate Dress Code Page Day”.  Just that “Casual Friday” is a lot shorter and has a nicer ring to it.  

This is not to say of course that you can’t get away with jeans or anything something more casual than let’s say a pair of chinos, but there’s a certain knack to it, and coming from a place that just abolished Casual Friday as a few bad eggs thought it was code for “Dress like it’s Slob and Sluts Party”, I decided to do a community service and stop it from happening to you.  Because that’s how we roll at Making of the Man.

So before reaching into the wardrobe, here are a couple of points to consider:

• Firstly, the way you dress will affect people’s perceptions of you.  And remember, you’re going to work, so your managers will also see you that day.  So perhaps leave anything really tight for the clubs, or anything incredibly loose fitting for your lounging around at home… or meeting with the fellow homies.  

• T-shirts with slogans.  Hmm… how does one put this?  How about this for a slogan: “T-SHIRTS + SLOGANS = LEAVE AT HOME WEAR”.

• This isn’t your chance to express yourself through your clothing.  Yes, there’s an element of dressing down that allows for some expression, but if you’re corporate by day and hippy by night, this isn’t the moment to wear your tie dye t-shirt that you made last week; of if you’re of the gay clubbing variety, your mesh t-shirt and buttless chaps should remain at home.  Your work is a place of business, not a meat market or a love in.

• If wearing jeans, they should sit on your waist. And by that, it means nothing below your pelvis that would show people whether your manscape. Or even the underwear you’re wearing that day. No one needs to know at work.

• If you have to ask a question that starts with “Would I be able to get away with…”, the answer is usually no. Don’t even finish the sentence, pass Go or collect 200 of your favourite currency.

• Being overdressed can be just as disastrous as being under dressed.  If you’ve taken it upon yourself to emulate the Mad Men dress code that includes the undeniably cool pocket square with a suave cocktail/smoking jacket, unless you’re working in a 1950s ad agency on Madison Avenue, leave this look for other functions.  Not your day at work.

If ever in doubt, it always helps to consult the employee dress code in your office, and if there isn’t one readily available, dressing slightly more conservatively on your first casual Friday (for example: a pair of trousers with a shirt with no tie; or a pair of jeans that could pass as trousers with a shirt) and then you can see how people dress and then upgrade to dress up or down later on.  Some offices are incredibly lax which depends on the industry and the clients they meet, while some are very conservative.  

Working for an investment bank means that I work in a fairly conservative industry.  Yes, those cowboy traders party hard, but the old boys still run the company and unfortunately, there’s a reputation that needs to be upheld, lest the other investment banks start taking us less seriously (but let’s face it, the public doesn’t take us very seriously right now). 

So before Casual Friday is snatched from your like candy from a baby, do your part to keep it going!

Brandishing a Swiss army knife after a customs officer has repeatedly asked you if you have any metallic objects will get you into more trouble than if you’d just not been so darn paranoid about those crazy foreigners and left your knife at home. This applies to you no matter how old you are.

Men are like a fine wine.  They get better with age.

As each day ages us (and there’s a rather depressing thought for a Monday), a lot of us have noticed that our hair isn’t as colourfast as it used to be. Remember that day when you noticed your first grey hair in the mirror? The sheer horror that was felt on the day when you suddenly realised that you were staring your mortality face to face with a steely gaze reserved only for your arch nemesis… no? Just me? Well the cheese stands alone then.

In any case, I’ve often been asked if it’s acceptable to grow old gracefully and just refer to the fact that men are like a fine wine (the older they get, the better they get) or deny the fact by dying their grey hairs. And depending on who you speak to, there are various opinions on this.  So before I send you diving for the bottle (the dye bottle… drinking and dying ends with mixed results), let’s think about this a bit.

Thanks to George Clooney, Harrison Ford and countless other actors who’ve decided that going grey is du jour, the infamous silver fox has made a bit of a re-surgence lately. It had been maligned by being synonymous for dirty old men before, but you see, there’s quite a difference between a silver fox and a dirty old man. One is a distinguised man, who rocks the grey hair look, and has the suave coolness and boyish charm to match. The other however, is tantamount to a human car crash, desperate to show that he still has it with the younger folk, but looking every bit three times their age and coming off a lecherous creep.

Silver Foxing

Let me perhaps demonstrate with George Clooney. We saw Mr Clooney in a number of Ocean’s series and then in great films such as “Syriana”, “Up in the Air” and the recent “The Ides of March” (not that the Ocean’s films weren’t good, just that they weren’t his best work, albeit quite entertaining) where he plays someone with a certain dignified quality. He’s been rocking the salt and pepper look since his late “ER” days but plenty of men and girls still want to sleep with him and almost every man wants to be him at his age. Let’s contrast him with shall we say, Nick Nolte, who looks every one of his 71 years and then some. Nick is also choosing to let his hair grey (in that photo anyway), but has all the grace and dignity of a stumbling alcoholic under disco lights (if the tabloids are to be believed).  I know which I’d rather be.

Dye! Dye! Dye!

The other type of man prefers not to let his hair tell his age (despite his face or skin telling a different story), and covers it up with materials. The big risk with this though is matching the dye with the original hair colour can be an extraordinarily difficult task. You’d think that having black hair would make it easy to find a hair dye to match? Well, I’ve seen dye jobs where the black hair dye was even darker than the original hair colour, to the point where there was so much contrast between the person’s white skin and the new hair colour that they looked like a they could have auditioned for KISS. All that was missing was the make up.

If you venture down the route of hair dying, I recommend going into a hair salon and having it professionally done, but also choosing an entirely different shade altogether, rather than going through the pain staking process of matching your hair colour.   A consultation with the professional is a fabulous idea as it will leave you more comfortable than standing in a supermarket or pharmacy mulling between chestnut and walnut (they’re both nuts!  What’s the freaking difference?!). It is more expensive to have it professionally done, but at least you’ll feel more confident and you may be able to do the touch ups on your own if you’re feeling particularly frugal (your hair dresser may recommend the shade of colour you need).

The other consideration with hair dye is ensuring that the, well, “Carpets match the curtains” so to speak. What do I mean? If you’re grey all over and you’re going to painstaking lengths to convince everyone that you’ve still for your hair colour, why should it be different down there? The devil is in the detail, after all. That, and you’ll look rather silly with your two tone hair when completely naked.

So which is better? As I said, it depends on who you speak to. Some people really like the “salt and pepper” look and some people (especially those who have been going grey since a young age) prefer to keep it dyed. The rather fortunate reality is that society’s attitudes to men getting older is a lot more accepting than it is for our female counterparts. I always believe that while society still believes that, why not take advantage of it?  I started with a few grey strands when I was 16 which caused me great alarm, and because I have black hair, I thought it was worse.  But now that I’m 31, the idea of a few greys streaked through my hair makes me feel more distinguished and I feel more comfortable with the idea (of course, if you’re completely white haired at the age of 30, this is an entirely different story). Looking slightly older, or even your age isn’t bad - however a bad cover up job will add years to you.